Sunday, December 15, 2013

25 Years of Research Reveals #1 Most Valuable Gift We Can Give

Looking for the Best Gift to Give Someone you Care About?  

A 25 year research study reveals the #1 answer.  

Researchers and physiologist Dinkmeyer and Losoncy  followed the lives of couples and families for 25 years and their conclusion concurred with that of eminent psychiatrist Rudolf Dreikurs. 

Encouragement is the key ingredient for success
in all positive professional and personal relationships.

Of the myriad of things parents & partners did, trying to help their children & each other, Encouraging words created the best outcome in their child’s and their partners life.

Mastering the skill of using encouraging words 
is one of the greatest gifts you can offer to the people in your life.

First, it’s critical that you are clear on exactly what encouragement is:
  • Encouragement is positive feedback that focuses primarily on effort or improvement rather than outcomes.
  • Encouraging happens through valuing and accepting others as they are, having a belief in the innate capacity of people to overcome the challenges of life.
  • Encouragement is recognizing, accepting, and conveying faith in another for the mere fact that he or she exists. They do not have to be “the best” to be a full-fledged human being.  Your focus and comments are such that you help them see their assets, strengths, resources and potential -- in contrast to their deficits, weaknesses and limitations.
  • Encouragement requires dropping the urge to analyze what’s really going on or trying to solve the situation for another. It is about sharing your confidence in them and helping them regain their sense of perspective and confidence in their ability to get through and rise above life’s challenges.

You will discover that a word of Encouragement during a time when someone feels they have failed is worth more than an hour of praise after a victory.

Here are a few examples of Encouraging words.
  • I believe in you.
  • I know you did your best.
  • You can make it.
  • While everything didn't come off as you had hoped, I felt your effort and it's all going to work out.
  • I can see you have made progress.
  • Knowing you, I’m sure you will do well.
  • You can only learn by trying and I feel like you always give a great effort.
  • I can see you have really thought this through.
  • That’s a challenge and I’m confident you’ll make it.

For additional details on using Encouraging words, download the Free e-book 
“Being The Shift” at  

Dinkmeyer, D., & Losoncy, L. (1996). The skills of encouragement. Delray Beach, FL: St. Lucie Press.
Dreikurs, R. (1971). Social equality. Chicago: Alfred Adler Institute.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Add This One Thing to Your Celebration to Make it the Best Holiday Season Ever

While you are Giving Thanks & Connecting with those you care about this Holiday Season, learn to add Acknowledging to the Appreciation you express and witness amazing shifts start to happen.

From Being the Shift by Steve Stay

Acknowledging is recognizing and expressing specific appreciation for the value you personally receive from other's words or actions. 

To Acknowledge is to expand on the Appreciation by stating specifically how you feel you have personally benefited from the other persons words or actions. “It feels good to know that you are interested in and value my perspective”rather than only saying: “Thank you” or “I appreciate you”.

Acknowledging is about YOUR feelings.  Without adding Acknowledging, your expression of Appreciation turns into Praise.  Praise is about judging their behavior as good or bad, right or wrong. 

Try “It feels so great to see you”, rather than a loaded Praised filled comment like, “Whoa, you look so great!”

This is one time it needs to be all about you, sharing how you feel you have benefited emotionally from the relationship and not your opinion of the other person's words or behavior.

Here are some other examples of Acknowledgments for this Holiday Season:

-    I love how I feel when I’m around you.

-    There are few people I can really pour my heart out to....thanks for being one of them.

-    My life feels better because you are a part of it.

-    I appreciate how you smile when I enter a room.  It helps me feel valuable.

-    I cannot quit smiling when you are around.  Thanks!  I love that feeling.

-    Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life; it brings me so much joy.

-    Thank you, I can feel/sense your interest/energy/concern/warmth

-    I love watching you play/sing/dance/laugh/share/help others/read/cook/love our children

-    I love who you are, you help me feel safe/joyful/better about myself/excited about life

For a more detailed description on Acknowledging, download the Free e-book “Being The Shift” at  Like our Facebook page

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Welcome to Being the Shift

Welcome to Being the Shift

Thank You! 

It feels good to know that you are interested in and value my perspective enough to take the time and energy to discover what “Being the Shift” is all about.

I love the amazing people that are attracted to this information.  It’s truly inspiring and brings me joy as I witness your passion for wanting to get the most out of life.

I appreciate you allowing me be a part of your journey for the next few minutes, as my life feels expanded in a beautiful way as a result of this time together.

Relax, there is nothing to buy.  “Being the Shift” is my free gift to you.

My name is Steve Stay and like most people, I have a history rich in mistakes and downright screw ups as well as times where I look like a freakin’ genius. 

“Being the Shift” was created as a personal reminder of a practice that felt really good. A practice, that every time I experimented with it, positive transformations immediately started taking place in my life.  For some crazy reason I would gradually slip away from it, then at some future date start practicing it again when I really needed some positive changes in my life.  It always delivers.

I originally started sharing the concept and practice with those around me to see if it would keep me engaged.

Then I witnessed a valuable additional benefit.  They too felt better doing the practice and it is so much easier to feel good myself when the circle of people around me are feeling good.

My current intention is to share “Being the Shift” with a much larger circle and witness the transformation that takes place when a million “Shifters” are assisting each other in practicing “Being the Shift” each day.

I am thrilled that “Being the Shift” has found you. I believe in you and I invite you to be the next member of our community of “Shifters” and personally witness what beautiful life transforming results it manifest for you.

Thank you in advance for the positive ripple your “Shifting” will be creating and spreading into our incredible world. 

Steve Stay

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